My Top Ten Favorite Celebrity Couples

God knows there are enough celebritards these days gracing the tabloids and enough overly exposed nicknamed couples that I think we are pretty much all tired of hearing/caring about. Brangelina, Posh&Becks, I'm looking at you. BUT, on the flip side, there are a lot of couples that I actually genuinely enjoy. Without further ado...

10. Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt: Yeah, yeah, I know, and don't worry three loyal readers, after the dinner table debacle that was Ketchup-gate, I am backing off my indefensible defense of Spencer. BUT, they do really seem to love each other. And maybe it's just for the camera, but it's all I have to go on. And the fact that they know that America hates them but they still show us their smoopie smoopie faces each week is admirable.

9. Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens: Granted I probably couldn't pick these two out of a lineup, but anytime you rattle off two ridiculously successful movies and hookup with your co-star, then handle the nudey internet photo flop, you make it on to my top 10 list. Lindsey Lohan, take notice.

8. Rob McIlhenney & Katilin Olsen: If you're not watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, please start, as these two absolutely crack me up on a weekly basis. When you watch, you might notice that the three guys are all Exec Producers on the show and Olsen is not. Well Mr. McIlhenney, not only have you kept the broad from making the big bucks, but you also managed to bed her. Kudos.

7. Professor Plum & Miss Scarlet: Nothing shocked the Clue watching world more than the scorching hot, albeit faux hookup of the biggest nerd and the hottest vamp in board game history. That movie gave me hope at the age of 9 that even I could hook up with a hot girl.

6. Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn: Together since 1982, Goldie and Kurt have never actually taken the plunge and gone down the aisle. While they are probably in the Aaron McKie common law marriage range, I really respect the fact that they have snubbed at traditional society and done their own thing.

5. Rachel Bilson & Hayden Christensen: Now, don't get me wrong, I can't stand how much Christensen's whiny Anakin Skywalker job ruined Episodes II & III, but I was reading a few weeks ago about how Bilson has intentionally avoided the press at all costs while with Christensen because she knew how much seeing them together would hurt Adam Brody, her ex. And I certainly have a lot of respect for that.

4. Kate Hudson & Dax Sheppard: While you could certainly say that had Kate Hudson done the same as Bilson, Owen Wilson might not have gone all Royal Tenenbaums on us, that seems like a pretty harsh statement. After seeing that picture of Sheppard taking off his shirt to shield his lady from the press, I was sold. That's how a man should treat his lady. Very Pacey Witter-like.

3. Bam Margera & Missy Rothstein: Bam is insane, no question about it, ridiculously wealthy because he is insane, but insane nonetheless. And despite bedding some of the best ass in Hollywood (Jessica Simpson), when it came time to find someone to spend the rest of his life with, Bam ended up with his childhood sweetheart and friend, Missy Rothstein. Someone who wasn't after the money or fame, Missy showed a heart of gold during their engagement reality show, putting up with Bam's antics, throwing back some of her own (the wedding dress prank), and even getting him to participate in some of the planning. Impressive.

2. Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minillo: In terms of being a celebrity, not many have had it harder than Nick. He believed he found the love of his life, married and her and tried to build a life with her, only to see it all come crashing down while at the same time his career was hitting the skids, hers was peaking and she was seen diddling guys like Bam and John Mayer in public. Just because they have money doesn't mean they don't deal with the same relationship tribulations that the rest of us do. Nick had it pretty rough. But give Nick credit, he found a way to rebound, land a hot girl and even find love again. And his new love ballad, What's Left of Me, is pretty fitting for their relationship. Anytime you fall in love and lose it, you lose a piece of your heart. Doesn't mean you can't love again, but you do leave something behind. Nick does a good job of recognizing that, and that's why Nick and Vanessa get #2 on my list.


1. Price William & Kate Middleton: These two just define a classy couple. Other than their breakup a few months ago, the only thing you ever heard about Kate was how perfect she was, and how in love they were, despite being the most watched couple in England since Will's parents. The two are so perfect that the throne will most likely pass over Charles and go straight to William because of their strong likelihood of being a great royal couple. And now that they are in the midst of getting back together, Kate laid low, opting to stay home at the recent Diana vigil, to keep the attention on where it truly belonged, Lady Di's memory. Class... something we could all learn from.

iGeek

I heart Apple. Have for a long time now. Even though they are expensive, I love the brand, and I'll never go back to the Windows way of life.

So anyone that knew me back when Lord Jobs announced the new iPhone back in January knew that I have been lusting after that little piece of technogadgetry ever since. However, due to my lack of, well, wealth, the $600 price tag looked a little, well, pricey. And when you throw in the Verizon cancellation fee and the increased price of the plans, I really didn't stand much of a shot.

So, like a jilted dumpee, I did my best to get over the iPhone. She wasn't right for me. I wasn't right for her. Not right now at least. Our love was just not meant to be. I moved on. I had to. I listened to Counting Crows on my iTunes, had a good cry, and talked myself into a few more years with my formerly acceptable Verizon LG regular phone. I picked up the pieces and put it all back together again.

And then came June 22nd. The black turtlenecked one's grand creation hit Apple Stores everywhere. And sometime in early July, I finally got my hands on one. And Oh. My. God. How beautiful is this thing? Sleek, beautiful, with an interface that even my grandmother could love.


Somehow, somehow (and that $600 pricetag helped), I found a way to perservere. MVF Lou talked me down from the iPhone ledge, [WARNING: NERD TALK COMMENCING] preaching the weakness of the 2G Cingular EDGE network, and the limitations of a mere 8GB of memory in addition to the standard bugs that come out in the first generation of any piece of technology [END NERD TALK].

But when Apple announced the $200 price drop last week (which amazingly seemed to incite more protests than the Iraq War, seriously, I think I saw someone carrying a torch and hanging Jobs in effigy outside the Suburban Square Apple Store), like the sad pup sucker that I am, I came running back to the door. Could I possibly wait another two months or so for the next generation of iPhones to come out, ones that promised 3G and 16GB? I am not proud to say that I promptly decided to create custom ringtones on iTunes for my top 30 closest friends and created entries for all of my cell phone and email contacts in AddressBook, to prepare for iPhone DDay.

And then came yesterday when I got to play with the iPhone again. One of my patients, an early teens kid brought his iPhone to the doc's office, so I had to ask him about it. While we geeked out to talks of the EDGE network, buffering, WiFi hotspots, early adopters, smart playlists, and an absolutely surreal story from this kid about the value of the camera (this kid, who, like myself was a bit awkward for his teen years told me about taking pictures of the stage last weekend while at the BARRY MANILOW CONCERT WITH HIS PARENTS, I mean, wow. how many things are wrong with that sentence?). So anyway, despite matching techisms with the Lord of the Dorks, my complete disdain for the whole "Patience is a Virtue" thing snapped back into 4th gear and my wallet has gone back into full on panic mode.

Can I really wait for the unnannounced but inevitable pre-Christmas iPhone 2.0 release? We shall see... but this $400 in my pocket is getting awfulllllly hot.

Oh, Mandy

There are a lot of beautiful women in Hollywood. Some have coke addicitions, some like to "accidentally" show their kibbles and bits to the paparazzi. Some are happily married, some ruin the greatest love story of all-time and sully the good name of MTV reality by divorcing Nick Lachey. Most are so ridiculously popular and wealthy that they wouldn't allow me to valet their car. But then there are the select few, nay, one who has it all going on yet avoids the limelight, avoids prison, and also appears surprisingly attainable to a dashing young fellow like myself. I am of course, talking about the delightful Miss Mandy Moore.

I fully admit that I have no shot with Nicole Kidman. Her perfect skin will never touch mine. And even if I wanted to, Britney is probably done with all guys named Kevin. I will never get to see Paris at night, and I would never want to get in between Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. But Mandy, Mandy is different. I think she is just the type of girl who might fall for a guy like me. The down-to-Earth style which Mandy appears to lead her life is just the reason she may be looking to go outside of her normal circle to find her next boyfriend.

Now, Mandy has dated Wilmer Valderrama, Andy Roddick, Vincent Chase, and Zach Braff. I once stole and drank Anna Kournikova's Wawa coffee. Mandy is a wildly popular, classicly beautiful triple threat who has achieved great success in the realms of film, television, and music. I am a lanky, neurotic, self-destructive pop culture-phile with no discernable talent whose greatest success is a 10 second stint in the background of an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air at the tender age of 12.

However, after working with Everyman-appeal actor John Krasinski on her recent film License to Wed, and dealing with Wilmer running his mouth off to Howard Stern, Mandy is ready for a break from the Hollywood guys. She will find in me the same self-inspecting, slightly narcissistic charm that she saw in Zach Braff, without the crazy shooting schedule. And, like Roddick, I too was on my high school tennis team. Mandy was on the cover of the May 06 Cosmo. I had a page in the June 05 Marie Claire. Mandy had a brief cameo on Entourage. I watch Entourage. And, as an added bonus, according to her wikipedia page, Mandy can't cook but is trying to learn. I am an excellent cook, and while living solo I often dine on Hungry Man dinners, I would be happy to spend hours in the kitchen with my love, creating pasta dishes, gourmet pizzas, steaks, Bananas Foster and whipped cream bikinis.

Now, what is my plan you might ask. Good question. Do I plan to win her over when she accidentally stumbles upon this blog? Unfortunately, I doubt this will appear in the top google results of her name, and I have about three confirmed readers and I don't think any of you know her (by the way, does every blogger/tv/radio host on the planet now use the old Conan O'Brien "no one is watching!" joke now? I think so). So how will I meet my future bride?

By letting her come to me. In the most romantic place on Earth. The gaming floor of the Borgata.



By what some may call coincidence, but I call fate, Mandy is playing with Dawson's Creek theme songstress Paula Cole next month at the Borgata on the same weekend of my mini-family reunion in Ocean City. My guess is that the crowd will not be comprised of too many members of my demographic, thus making me stand out in the sea of women. While it is entirely possible that Mandy will pull me out of the crowd onto stage a la Bruce Springsteen-Courtney Cox in Dancing in the Dark, serenading me with her new favorite cover, Rihanna's "Umbrella",



it is far more likely that Mandy and I will cross paths later that evening, at the gaming tables. What many don't know is that I am a very entertaining gambler, making myself known at Blackjack tables all across Atlantic City. Ok, perhaps that's a stretch, but I am entertaining and can command the attention of a solid $10 table if I can just get a few cards to fall my way. Drawn in by the burgeoning crowd and witty banter, Moore, a little lonely after her performance will wander over to see what all the fuss is about. With the seat next to me being occupied by a large African-American woman named Thelma, Mandy will be forced to wait as I help us all win Alexander Hamilton's with reckless abandon. Finally, overcome with feelings of joy and the all you can eat buffett at the Trump Marina, Thelma will depart, opening a seat for Mandy.

Eschewing formal introductions, Mandy and I hit it off immediately, discussing the post-Labor Day shore crowd, the maze like atmosphere that every casino seems to envelope and the supposed extra oxygen being pumped into the room to keep us all alert and awake. I will learn that Mandy also has a secret love for the WB-classic "Felicity", and spends more hours each week on Fantasy Football than anything else. Between these revelations and a few drinks, it leads to a stroll on the boardwalk, a barefoot walk on the beach, interlocking fingers, stopping only to sit in the lifeguard stand and admire the power and beauty of the ocean's tides and eventually, when the moment is right, a moonlight kiss. The rest, my friends, you will have to read about in the tabloids.